Important Universal Laws
- "The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead
- "The Law of Avoiding Oversell" When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse
- "The Law of Common Sense" Never accept a drink from a urologist
- "The Law of Reality" Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose
- "The Law of Self Sacrifice" When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last
- "Weiler's Law" Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself
- "Law of Probable Dispersal" Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed
- "Law of Volunteer Labor" People are always available for work in the past tense
- "Conway's Law" In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired
- "Iron Law of Distribution" Them that has, gets. "Law of Cybernetic Entomology" There is always one more bug
- "Law of Drunkeness" You can't fall off the floor
- "Heller's Law" The first myth of management is that it exists
- "Osborne's Law" Variables won't; constants aren't
- "Main's Law" For every action there is an equal and opposite government program
- "Weinberg's Second Law" If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization
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